Time for a quick lesson
Expert head queens are people who truly love sucking dick. The rest of us regular people have to learn, and the only way to learn is to practice.
Keep this in mind next time you are performing:
Take your time.
Don't just dive in. Go slow. Give a preamble of what's to come. The full range of intimate body-on-body experience is yours to use, so don't feel like you have to fit into a script.
Stop thinking of it as “foreplay.”
Foreplay generally describes acts that put you and your partner in the mood prior to some kind of penetrative sex. Some sex acts -- bjs included -- are often relegated into this category, as if they are "lesser" sexual experiences than penetration. We don’t agree with that, oral sex is an act of intimacy itself.
Flick the frenulum.
A classic trick. The frenulum is the underside of the penis head, which for many people with a dick is the most sensitive part of the penis. I generally always start by kissing the tip then moving down to the underside with the tip of my tongue. Practice different moves once you are in this situation.
Pay attention to how their dick behaves.
Just like fisting, anal sex, BDSM, and really good make-out sessions, giving head happens best once you've reached that post-language space of sex where words fall away. Talking while offering such a treat is not recommended. Normalize talking about sex before you have it.
Blowjobs are for your pleasure above all else.
All sex is for your pleasure -- even submissive sex in which someone takes over. Good sex is about doing what feels good for you, and for some people that means surrendering control.
So don't frame sucking dick in your mind as something you're solely doing for them. If you see it that way, you won't enjoy it, and neither will them.
Use spit in excess.
Your mouth will dry out and that’s a fact. A nice person will add their saliva and contribute to the store of spit you have at your disposal, either by spitting in your mouth or spitting on their dick but these much appreciated moves are not always guaranteed.
Don’t expect something in return. That’s not the point.
Oral sex isn't about making them cum. It's not a chore you have to get through in order to get something equally pleasurable after. Many people see oral sex this way, as a prescribed action that generates an equal return. Giving head is an offering not a sacrifice.
Use your tongue.
You may be limited as to how well you can lick their dick once it's inside your mouth. The size of their dick and the size of your mouth will determine how much you can do, but don’t forget to include some of your best maneuvers
Use your breath.
Practice sucking in air. Doing this tightens the space inside your mouth, creating a kind of vacuum suction that feels really great. You don't want to do that all the time, since you will suck in saliva too, the necessary elixir that makes this whole thing happen.
It’s OK if you have a gag reflex — most people do.
It's great if you don't, and some people don't have a gag reflex at all, but most people do, and that's totally OK. When you’re feeling overwhelmed breath through your nose and it will be fine.
Don’t be afraid to push your limit.
It's fun to push the limit of how far you can swallow their cock. I think it's really hot to choke on someone's cock and they probably will too. But don't push it too much or you might hurt yourself. Deep-throating (sliding a cock past the larynx into the throat) should not be seen as the maximum ideal of oral sex or a goal you must move toward. In this situation a numbing spray will help a lot specially if it’s your first time trying it.
Check out our for our recommended numbing spray.