Using someone's correct pronouns is not just a matter of political correctness; it is a fundamental aspect of human dignity and respect. At its core, using correct pronouns is about acknowledging and affirming someone's identity. When we use incorrect pronouns, we are essentially invalidating a person's sense of self and denying their lived experience. This can be incredibly hurtful and damaging, especially to those who have already faced discrimination and marginalization based on their gender identity.
Using correct pronouns is a matter of basic human decency. It costs us nothing to use someone's preferred pronouns, yet it can mean everything to the person whose identity is being affirmed. It shows that we see them and respect them for who they are, not who we might assume them to be based on appearances or preconceived notions. When we make an effort to use the correct pronouns for one another, we are signaling that all identities are valid and deserving of respect. This can help foster a sense of belonging and acceptance, particularly for those who may feel marginalized or misunderstood.
When you are unsure of someone’s pronouns, it’s always better to just ask before assuming. Try asking: “What pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me what pronouns you use?” It can sometimes feel awkward at first, but it isn’t nearly as awkward as making a hurtful assumption.
It is important to remember that by consistently asking people for their pronouns, you can help create a more normalized and safe way for others to share their pronouns, which they may not have been able to do before. However, there are multiple reasons why someone may not want to share their pronouns in a group setting. If someone does not share their pronouns, feel free to use their name as a placeholder or ask in a more private setting.
Furthermore, asking about when you can use their pronouns helps protect people from being outed; this can sound like “Are there any situations where you don’t want me to use these pronouns?” By making an effort to use correct pronouns, we can create a more inclusive and respectful society for all.
