whore-oscopes: your slutty astrological forecast

whore-oscopes: your slutty astrological forecast


Aries:
Love ignites with unexpected sparks, so keep your eyes open incase of fire. Light that joint with care and embrace your adventurous spirit and try something unexpected. Have you ever thought of upgrading your anal play? Don't forget the lube, try a CBD infused one this time and lets us know the difference on the comments, we want the opinion of an expert. 

Taurus: Sensuality blossoms in meaningful connections, learning how to share your light through pleasure. Perfect season for a smoke sesh with your closest pals… or a threesome. Pamper yourself and explore your dark side. Who said that you can't be wild? Add a new dildo to your collection, we recommend this one.

Gemini: Witty banter and high-deas turn into heart-felt conversations, leading to connections that stimulate your spirit and g-spot. Expand your knowledge and all your holes, engage in deep conversations, and share your most weird fantasies with the world (or just your partner)! Explore your creative sexuality with one of this adult coloring books 

Cancer: Emotional vulnerability leads to deeper connections. Don’t be afraid to spark up and go deep with those closest to you. Surround yourself with people as horny as you. Remember to set healthy boundaries, a safe word and pressure of the nipple clams. Be open but prioritize your own pleasure.

 

Leo: Playful flirtations are bringing joy to your sex life, so hit the pen and relax into your high. Keep up with the good job, ordering a dam wouldn’t be a bad idea if you are single. Your creativity in the bedroom is amplifying your experiences. Don't stay up till late watching the same porn twice. Shine your light bright!

Virgo: Love manifests in practical ways, and so does your perfectly curated blunt rotation. It might be time to explore your glory holes. Time to master those new skills and refining your routines. Order that numbing lube that's in your cart! 

Libra: Harmony and beauty flow into your love life but solo sessions are a must. Smoke a blunt all to yourself. Buy a new toy!! Remember, what you seek is seeking you, too. So just keep swiping left.  

Scorpio: Intense connections are built on trust and shared vulnerability. Take an edible and journal your thoughts. Tell your partner about that dream the other night you might have a kinky surprise. Embrace transformation. Better Os are cumming especially if you have one of this on your bedroom! 

Sagittarius: Spontaneous adventures are on your way, don't wait too long to respond to that text. Keep rolling up for your friends that don’t know how. Open your mind and your legs to new beginnings and beginners - kindly remember that you were once one of them. Explore new positions but don't forget to stretch! Your favorite anal plug is yet to come.


Capricorn: Commitment is not a possibility right now, it can sound toxic but summer is coming. We have had this conversation before, delete the contact! Set ambitious goals, pursue your own pleasure. Hit the bong and go outside. Celebrate with casual rage sex. I know it feels good but use protection

Aquarius: You are hotter when you are your authentic self. You’ll know who you are after hitting that dab rig, surely. Believe in the magic of roleplay but don't go too far. Let them be weird first. Trust the process, not everyone is into step-siblings…



Pisces: Drink a lot of water. Especially if you are planning to make yourself cough violently again with a giant bong hit. Let your imagination flow, emotional exploration is a form of self love and so are vibrators… don't forget to charge them! If you are having a bad day, a quickie always helps! More orgasms, less stress

 

 

 

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